Barnabas Collins is heir to a large fishing empire in colonial America. Other than his parents suddenly dying in a freak accident, he's got a lot going for him... he's charming, wealthy, and has a beautiful new lady in his life. But wouldn't you know it, his house maid Angelique is completely smitten with Barnabas. You're typical love triangle... and then, as the story goes, Angelique turns out to be a witch. Whoops, I hate it when that happens. Scoured by Barnabas' rejection she bewitches his lady friend and convinces her it would be a grand idea to throw herself off of a cliff. Naturally, Barnabas jumps after her (did her think he was going to catch her, and land safely on his feet...?) and lands face down on the rocks, beside his beloved... except he doesn't die. He just grows fangs and an unnatural thirst for blood. Awkward. Angelique has obviously been reading too much Twilight, and wants her man candy sparkly and eternally young. When Barnabas refuses her still (Its not as though she's really been that nice to him lately) she has an angry mob lock him in a coffin, and buried in the woods. Cozy.
200 hundred years later, in 1972, a construction crew accidentally digs old Barnabas up... which turns out isn't too beneficial to their health. A 17th century fish tycoon, suddenly thrown into 1970s America has the potential to be hilarious. The plot meets us half way... The scenarios are pretty funny, and helped significantly by the acting quality. When Barnabas returns to his beloved Collinwood (the family manor) he finds all is not well. The wealth is all but gone, and the fishing industry is being run into the ground by a larger company named Angel Bay. Naturally, because she hasn't had anything better come up in the last 200 years, Angelique is right where Barnabas left her, still trying to destroy the Collins family (that must have been some crush...) except now she's running Angel Bay. Awkward. The next hour or so is a series of back and forwarths between the two. Angelique still wanting Barnabas' love, and Barnabas wanting to restore his fish empire.
Lets be honest, even though dear old Johnny will be turning an impressive 49 in June... and was wearing something similar to Ronald Weasley's dress robes... we still can't resist him. The silvery skin, and slicked black hair are hardly enough to deter us, we still fall for the high cheekbones and smooth voice hidden below the layers of makeup. His overall appearance was more of a satirical Dracula look than the sparkly skinned teenagers we've recently become accustomed to. Though its not only old Dracula images that give this look a sense of Deja Vu...
For the record, I think Johnny Depp is an absolutely phenomenal actor... perhaps one of the very best. I also think that Tim Burton is an ingenious director that takes risks many wouldn't dare. However, I couldn't help but feel that I'd seen parts of this movie before, in one of the other collaborations they have produced together in the last 22 years. Its not uncommon for directors to favor certain actors and cast them repeatedly... its just a little more obvious when we're dealing with Tim Burton's unique style. You know you're watching a Tim Burton movie, and you can't help but ask yourself, who will Johnny Depp play in this one. Its inevitable, though not always a bad choice. They have both seriously advanced each others careers... all I'm saying is, Tim, maybe its time for a new makeup and wardrobe guy. Just a thought. The dark, misunderstood character in turn of the century clothing, with pale skin and a darkened jaw line... yeah, we've seen it.
Another constant in Tim Burton's films is his lovely Life Partner Helena Bonham Carter, who always delivers a fantastically insane character. Her role as the drunken psychiatrist Julia Hoffman is comical, but not over done. But lets be honest, her character is smitten (as well) with Johnny's? Never heard that one before... oh wait...
Eva Green's portrayal of Angelique was comical, and she brought just enough sex appeal to the character, without making it weird. Though I'm aware that this probably wasn't her artistic choice, I could have done without the skin cracking. Did you know that if you kill a witch, she smashes like an empty egg shell? Yeah... me either.
I thoroughly enjoyed the presence of Michelle Pfeiffer in the cast, this is her second role in a Tim Burton film, but not one that was as expected as the others, as her last role was in his 1992 film Batman Returns. Her role as Elizabeth Collins was played perfectly. She was dry and uptight, when she needed to be, but still compassionate, and often funny when called for. Perfect casting.
Some actors were created simply to play creepy roles. And Jackie Earle Haley does not disappoint. What dark satire is complete without the creepy doorman/groundskeeper? Certainly not this one. He is a comical presence that i was greatly appreciative of.
Did Tim Burton find Bella Heathcote in his dreams? Because she is everything that he loves to cast all rolled into one. She's a relatively new face to the big screen, with a wide face, big eyes, and beautifully pale skin. For this role, she was perfect, but be careful Bella, don't become another regular on his rotation, I've got high hopes for you!
Chloë Grace Moretz? Dear God. Could have done without her. Seriously. She was awful. I think, in following with the theme of the decade, she was supposed to be stoned? If so, sit her in front of some Cheech and Chong movies until she gets it right. Or even close. And her little surprising secret at the end... could have done without that too. In fact, just take out her whole character please. Or recast.
The last notable role to touch on is the precious misunderstood character of David Collins, played by Gulliver McGrath. He is wonderful, and I wish I had gotten to see more of him. He is also reminiscent of a young Freddy Highmore that has starred in two Johnny Depp movies, after being taken under his wing. I wouldn't be too surprised if we see McGrath in another Depp film some time soon.
All in all, the movie was comical, and entertaining. Like all Burton movies the music, graphics, and sets were astounding. The man has an eye for detail and this movie was no exception. The one liners dotted throughout were funny enough, however the writing overall was lacking. I was wonderfully caught up in the production of it all, but I was left with too many unanswered questions. The structure of the writing was too lacking, and the fantastic acting from most of the cast only just keeps it afloat. B- in my book. But go find out for yourself.... maybe once its on Redbox though.
beewistful always (Tim Burton is?)
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