Breaking my heart and rebuilding it for Missions

No one would ever accuse me of being organized. What can I say? I'm a creative mind... Organization is not my forté. I've never been the first to offer to help with cleaning, and I'll put off doing laundry until I'm literally out of clean clothes. Whoops. 

I like kids. Kids can be fun. But I've never been the kind of girl dying to hold every baby she sees, dreaming of the day she'll have her own. I've never picked out baby names, and I don't have a board of kid related things on Pinterest. I like kids, but I'm not that girl. My sister is, but I've never really been. 

Working in missions is changing my heart is the weirdest ways. The mission field will make a housewife out of anyone. 

I have cleaned rooms from floor to ceiling, making sure every mark and every stain is gone. I know every trick to getting crayon off of walls. I have washed my laundry in a metal tub on the back porch, and line dried them behind the house. 

I have picked out a live chicken, and had it killed and skinned in front of me. I've cleaned fresh chicken and cooked it over a tiny propane stove. I know how to clean fruit with bottled water, and cut pineapples and watermelons with a pocket knife.

I'm learning how to make kids smile when all they want to do is cry. I'm learning how to tell if a baby is running a fever. Did you know that forehead kisses make the best thermometers?  

I'm learning to love the kids, past my own reservations, and my own comfort levels. I'm learning to listen to God when he calls me. 

I've been in India for a little under a month. I've learned, probably only a small fraction of what it means to be a missionary, but I'm learning to love the good and the bad. I've learned that its hard work, and rarely looks like what you're expecting. I've learned that as soon as you're reached some level of comfort with what you're doing, it'll change. I've learned that seemingly small acts of service can be hugely beneficial to ministries in the long run. I've learned that when something is rough, there will soon be something so rewarding to follow that it'll make it all worth it. 

I've been in India for a little under a month. I haven't even left yet and I already feel called back. I've googled long term missions a hundred times. I've googled teaching english over seas. I've googled mission sponsorship and training programs. 

I think my heart was made for the mission field. 

"And he said to them, 'Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."  - Mark 16:15