Leaving the ones that have my heart

My final few days in Ongole were consumed by loving on the kids for the last time, crying as I tried to find ways to say goodbye, and packing and repacking my suitcase (which seems to have doubled in contents).

 On Sunday morning we left Ongole; the place I have lived for the last two months, the place that has captured my heart in so many unexpected ways. Saying goodbye was so incredibly hard. My sweet sweet girl Melanie* cried when I kissed her cheek and put her down for the last time (okay, I've spoiled her and she cries every time I put her down, but this time it felt more personal). One of my wonderful school boys clung to my neck and refused to be put down, riding on my back as I made my rounds and said my goodbyes.

 I've been saying goodbyes my whole life. Whether I'm in England or America I always have people I love a million mile away. Goodbyes are never a fun thing, but as I walked out of the gates of Victory for the last time I felt utterly crushed.

 My time at Victory started out rocky. I've said it a hundred times, special needs is not my calling. But the kids of SCH have captured my heart entirely. I've loved and been loved by these kids in ways I did not expect to when I first arrived. I spent my first few days at Victory apprehensive, ready for the day to end. I ended my trip going there in my free time, desperate for more time with my beautiful kids. I grew attached. And leaving seemed impossible. How do you tell a child, that you've spent every day with, that you've grown to love, that you're leaving? How do you walk away, knowing that when you're gone they're not going to get the one on one you've been giving them?

The best way for me to look at this, is to recognize that God called me to a two month mission trip. He knew, when he sent me, that two months later he would be bringing me home. That was always His plan. That doesn't make the ache in my heart go away, but it does lessen it. I came to India to love these children, to serve this ministry, and to grow amongst a team of beautiful sisters in Christ.

I don't think Ongole and I have seen the last of each other, we still have our marks to leave on one another, but for now I am content with the time that I got to spend there, the beauty I saw, and the love that I received. 

I'll be praying everyday for the beautiful little faces I met there, and I can't wait to dance in heaven with them, when their bodies are restored and their sickness is gone. What a beautiful day that will be! 

 "But on taking leave of them he said, "I will return to you if God wills," and he set sail..." -Acts 18:21

Christmas in July

Now I know what Christmas in July looks like. I know how Santa feels.

Since we arrived, we've been doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

We've been sewing. We've been sorting. We've been cleaning. We've been painting.  

Don't get me wrong, we've been spending a fair bit of time with the kids too, but we've been doing tons of behind the scenes things. We couldn't be here at a more exciting time. SCH is in the process of moving all of the kids into newer, more controlled housing. The housing will be better split by genders and age groups. 

Along with the move the kids are all getting new clothes. That was what the goal of our first project was. We were sorting and sewing labels onto tons and tons of new clothes for the kids. 

We want this move to be as exciting for the kids as it can be, so we're trying to make the rooms as beautiful as the smiling faces that will be living in them. We've been painting murals on the walls of the girls home. There four of us that are, as Megan calls us, "Artsy-Fartsies" in the group, and there are conveniently four apartments in the girls home. We each headed up the design of an apartment. 

I can't tell you how much fun that was.

I got to completely design the layout for my apartment. 

We went with a sky theme :) our room has clouds painted all around, a skyline of the beautiful city outside, tons of stars, and suns, and moons, and scripture praising God. Seriously I love it. The fantastic girls that painted the apartment with me made my week phenomenal. With Macey, Alexis, Becca and Jess I painted, sang to Jesus, sang much missed country music, danced, and laughed. Seriously, I love these girls, and I've loved this project. (I'll post pictures of all of the rooms soon!)

We've also been distributing the clothes that we so carefully sorted and sewed. We went into the apartments before any of the kids moved in, and put they're cute little clothes in the closets waiting for them.

I think this is what Santa feels like. Getting things ready, leaving behind cute little gifts, picked out and waiting for the kids. 

Today I got a first taste of what all this work means. I got to visit one of the first groups of kids to move into their new apartments. Their 'house mothers' have brought them books and toys, and have pictures of their beautiful faces hanging all over their home. That's what it is, a home. 

The kids are wearing new clothes, that fit them well. They are sleeping in beds with soft blankets and cuddly toys. 

Those kids looked so happy. and so loved.

My post for today is short, and will sadly be the only one. For a lot of the day the power was on and off which kept me from posting, and then when it was on, I chose playing with kids over being at the computer. I thought it sounded like a fair trade. :)

I have one more week in this wonderful town with these amazing kids. The countdown makes my heart ache. It aches to see my friends and family at home, but it aches twice as much at the thought of leaving here.  

This is my Life

On our way back from the beach, I was riding in the trunk of the van between Sam and Macey. I was leaning out of the window, my hair whipping around my face. I was seeing miles and miles of India. Beautiful children, tiny villages, herds of cows, families on motorcycles, or crowded into Rickshaws. It was more than I could soak in. At one point I just turned to Sam and said "this is our life right now."

This is my life right now. This is my beautiful, beautiful life right now.

Spending time in my Hammock with my teammates, talking about life and Jesus and laughing until we cry and crying until we laugh.

Riding in Rickshaws, sometimes holding on for dear life, but loving every minute of it all the same.

Spending lunch times walking down the main road with my teammates, buying Grape and Pineapple smoothies for 35 cents and Street Ice cream for 10 cents.

Helping precious children walk. Making them laugh. Playing with them. Loving them.

Listening to sermons and podcasts with Beautiful, wonderful sisters in Christ.

Having traditional Indian outfits made for me, from fabric I've handpicked. For less than one shirt in America.

Singing and preaching in remote villages with the aid of a devoted translator.

Learning so much about myself, and things I didn't think I was strong enough for.

Joining the majority of the world in eating for less than $2 a day. And guess what? Its still absolutely delicious.

Hearing from my wonderful friends and family back home, being told I'm being prayed for, and supported, and loved across the miles.

I've never been so surrounded by such selfless people.

I've never felt so sure that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this moment.

Independance Day :)

The 4th of July was one of the very best days I've spent in India.

The morning was spent at Victory Home. Ministry just went so well that day. We were in high spirits. The kids were in high spirits. I spent a lot of the morning with Melanie*. If you've seen any of the pictures I've posted on facebook, I don't have to tell you this girl has captured my heart completely. She is beautiful. So beautiful. She has the longest eyelashes, and brightest eyes.

Her laugh is so ridiculously infectious. She cracks herself up. She just wants to be tickled, and spun around, and held. 

If I could spend every moment of every day with her I think I would.

At lunch time we loaded up in a van and headed to beach. I sat on a bench in the trunk, facing out the whole where a back window should go sandwiched between Becca and Macey, two of the funniest, most loving girls I know. Over the course of the hour long drive, we found the more embarrassing classics of the 90s and 2000s on each other's iPods. We passed tiny villages, and huge temples. We drove through miles of farmland that made me Texas, and stretches of highway that made it seem like years since I'd driven a car. 

The Bay of Bengal was more than we could have hoped for. We found a relatively secluded spot. The sand was soft and warm, and the waves were rolling. Appropriate attire at the beach consists of long pants and covered shoulders, but we didn't care. We happily leaped through the waves fully clothed. I think it was the cleanest I've been since arriving in India. It was so great to just have fun and be carefree with my wonderful teammates. I can't tell you what an amazing afternoon it was. Macey and I wandered down the beach and talked about the amazing things God was doing in us through this trip, then came back and took a million goofy pictures with the rest of the girls. 

The ride back was as wonderful as the ride there. The sun was setting and the air was warm, but felt great with the breeze. It had been a fantastic day. 

But it wasn't over.

When we got home the head of ICM, the ministry we are partnered with, called us to say that they were coming to The Peace House (where we are staying) and bringing some of the other American volunteers for an Independence Day Celebration. 

We spent the evening taking with American volunteers we had been serving with, getting to know them better, and meeting ones we had not yet crossed paths with. After a while we were ushered outside. Several of the men then started lighting fireworks. It wasn't the longest, or the most extravagant firework show I've ever seen, but it was by far the best. Because they were doing it for us, because they love and appreciate us. 

It was so great to be there, all together, feeling so loved, and loving one another.

As ICM volunteers passed around ice cream, we say the national anthem and a few other cheesy America songs. Alexis, Gillian and I even pulled out a round of Deep in the Heart of Texas.

The day was wonderful.

I spent it with wonderful people.

I felt so loved.

It was a beautiful day.