My final few days in Ongole were consumed by loving on the kids for the last time, crying as I tried to find ways to say goodbye, and packing and repacking my suitcase (which seems to have doubled in contents).
On Sunday morning we left Ongole; the place I have lived for the last two months, the place that has captured my heart in so many unexpected ways. Saying goodbye was so incredibly hard. My sweet sweet girl Melanie* cried when I kissed her cheek and put her down for the last time (okay, I've spoiled her and she cries every time I put her down, but this time it felt more personal). One of my wonderful school boys clung to my neck and refused to be put down, riding on my back as I made my rounds and said my goodbyes.
I've been saying goodbyes my whole life. Whether I'm in England or America I always have people I love a million mile away. Goodbyes are never a fun thing, but as I walked out of the gates of Victory for the last time I felt utterly crushed.
My time at Victory started out rocky. I've said it a hundred times, special needs is not my calling. But the kids of SCH have captured my heart entirely. I've loved and been loved by these kids in ways I did not expect to when I first arrived. I spent my first few days at Victory apprehensive, ready for the day to end. I ended my trip going there in my free time, desperate for more time with my beautiful kids.
I grew attached. And leaving seemed impossible.
How do you tell a child, that you've spent every day with, that you've grown to love, that you're leaving? How do you walk away, knowing that when you're gone they're not going to get the one on one you've been giving them?
The best way for me to look at this, is to recognize that God called me to a two month mission trip. He knew, when he sent me, that two months later he would be bringing me home. That was always His plan. That doesn't make the ache in my heart go away, but it does lessen it. I came to India to love these children, to serve this ministry, and to grow amongst a team of beautiful sisters in Christ.
The best way for me to look at this, is to recognize that God called me to a two month mission trip. He knew, when he sent me, that two months later he would be bringing me home. That was always His plan. That doesn't make the ache in my heart go away, but it does lessen it. I came to India to love these children, to serve this ministry, and to grow amongst a team of beautiful sisters in Christ.
I don't think Ongole and I have seen the last of each other, we still have our marks to leave on one another, but for now I am content with the time that I got to spend there, the beauty I saw, and the love that I received.
I'll be praying everyday for the beautiful little faces I met there, and I can't wait to dance in heaven with them, when their bodies are restored and their sickness is gone. What a beautiful day that will be!
"But on taking leave of them he said, "I will return to you if God wills," and he set sail..." -Acts 18:21
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